The Final Post: Europe = Destroyed

We all knew it was coming.  Shed a tear, but then go live your life.


I wanted to take this opportunity to do "The Dundies: International Edition"


Best Food: Italy (Pizza and ice cream are actually my two favorite foods.)
Best Views: Switzerland (Mountains and lakes...marry me?)
Best Time: France (What? No way.  But Amanda, you hate France.  (Ugh, I know))
Best Sites/Friendships: Spain (Gaudi still blows my mind grapes)


Also, here are some pics that didn't quite fit in earlier.

Figure 13.1 - BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER (Madrid)

Figure 13.2 - L'hospital was our favorite Calc BC AP rule.  Seriously.

Figure 13.3 - The casa that was not worth walking for two hours to see.

Figure 13.4 - This pic was taken because the orange arrow was pointing at a woman with red and blue hair.  Bonus action on the right. 

Figure 13.4 - Shut up France.  "Le" doesn't make it French.

Figure 13.5 - Wife of winemaker we never got to meet.

Figure 13.6 - Damn Switzerland. 

Figure 13.7 - But really, why are you so obsessed with cows?

Figure 13.8 - We actually did go paragliding.  Lauren didn't believe that the other picture wasn't photoshopped.

Figure 13.9 - Yeah Alice, it's totally worth 100 not 10.  IT SAYS SO RIGHT THERE!!

Figure 13.10 - You would not believe how much style this kid had.

All in all, we had an unreal trip.  Every day was absurd, for one reason or another (days involving stolen passports were less awesome, but s'ok).  


So thanks for keeping up with us.  We love to feel popular.  With that,  I leave the blogging world.

Final Figure - I made this at the Clamouse Caverns.  Alice still refuses to believe it looks like a heart.  Haters gonna hate.

What do pigeons, upgrades, and famous people have in common?

They were all part of our trip back to the states!  Write that joke down, its a keeper.


The first necessary step to travelling back to the states was paying a room tax in Rome.  Fun fact: it must be paid in cash, only euros accepted.  We had 10 euros and 97 euro cents.  We needed 11.  (Eurgh)


We weren't willing to get the ATM charge necessary to get the cash we needed.  After some excessive luggage and pocket searching, I took an AMERICAN quarter and went on a quest.  Down the hall, I found a kid chiyyin on the couch.  The conversation went as follows:


Me:  Are you American?
Tie-Dye Shirt Kid: Yes.
Me: Can I ask you for a weird favor?
TDS Kid: ... I mean... you can ask...
Me: Can I trade you this American quarter for five cents in Euros?
TDS Kid: Uhhh sure.


SUCCESS!  Turns out he was from Texas.  I said "Go Mavs!" and he replied "I don't follow sports."  He's a freak, but he was useful.


Here is our tax cash:

Figure 11-1: HAVE FUN COUNTING THAT.

We were packing up, and I realized that I never had a chance to bust out my collapsible hat since Greece was to be the glorious debut.  It had to be photographed.  Here you go:

Figure 11.2 - (A) What a great purse!  (B) But what is this???? (C) You're kidding.  There's a hat in there?! (D) Wow, I'm so glad.

You're welcome, world.


We had some time to kill in the airport.  Alice went to buy some CZ (coke zero) and while she was gone this thing nearly took my head off.

Figure 11.3 - Pigeon why are you in the airport?  You're a pigeon, you don't even have a boarding pass.

I also got a free upgrade.  Since I had 17 hours of flying ahead of me, I was grateful that the first 10 would be spent in LE SERIOUS STYLE.

Figure 11.4 - I couldn't even reach the seat in front of me.  (Sorry Ehlice...)

Turns out I was sitting next to some pretty high up dude in the US Navy (shout out RyCo), and I thought that was super sweet.  BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN THE MOST EXCITING PART.  I walked out of the plane and went over to the side to wait for Alice, and JOHN MCCAIN was walking right behind me.  We made eye contact.  He looked confused about why I stopped walking so suddenly.  Or maybe he was just being olds.  I tried to get a picture:

Figure 11.5 - See that tiny tiny white dot in the middle of the circle? That's him.

Clearly I photofailed.  But guess who was sitting right across from Alice on her journey to the main terminal?

Figure 11.6 - Wow, Alice.  You did such an amazing job here.  

We are now safely in the states.  Expect some trip conclusions in the coming days.

"Yo bro, can I borrow your Rosary beads?"

...frat boys do the Vatican. 

Our journey to Rome went significantly more smoothly than our journey to Interlaken.  No things were stolen.  No trains were missed.  No busses were ridden.  We did so good that day.  On the train, Alice read her regular teeny-bopper book.  Except this time...it came with this:

Figure 10.1 - Companion Soundtrack?!?! AAHAHAHAHHA BOOKS

We also passed by what we thought would be the Jersey Shore's prime hangout spot.  There weren't there though...what a weird problem.

Figure 10.2 - But it's such a classy locale.. 

Finally, we have proof that the king is alive.  He speaks Italian now, KEWL!

Figure 10.3 - So tired from all that hiding.

We spent two walking-filled, action-packed, heat-strokey days in Rome.  WE SAW ALL THE THINGS!!!

The first day we saw the Colosseum, the Roman Forum, the Palatine, the Spanish Steps, and the Trevi Fountain.  Wow.


The line for the Colosseum was the longest.  I was getting really bored, so I drew Alice this picture of where we always want to be. 

Figure 10.4 - I think I was inspired by all the museums we'd been going to.

Apparently we also stepped into the hot tub time machine while waiting to see the sees, and found some Roman guards chiyyin outside.

Figure 10.5 - He's doing a great job protecting the emperor.

We finally made it inside!! 

Figure 10.6 - They did horrible things in the Colosseum...you can't really tell from our smiles though.   

Before we left, we were lucky enough to find a place to meet up.  We'd been having trouble with this the entire trip.

Figure 10.7 - If you're meeting someone anywhere else, you're breaking rules and causing problems.

After the Colosseum, we ventured over to the Roman Forum and the Palatine.  It was there that we found a lady wearing the very same dress I was wearing and had bought a mere 16 hours before in Switzerland.  We actually ran around other people to snap this photo.

Figure 10.8 - Who wore it best???

That night, we decided to go on a bar crawl that met at the Spanish steps.  

Figure 10.9- They were so Spanish that they were eating tapas and  doing other Spanish things.

Figure 10.10 - How excited we were to be going on a bar crawl.

We met up with the group, which included 45 kids from a study abroad program that all knew each other.  As we were walking to the first bar, we got handed bottles of white wine from Brandon and Max, and had found a built in group of friends.  But then they split us all up, and we wound up with 4 other kids.  They also promised us pizza, a t shirt, and an open bar.  They LIED.  An hour later, we wound up at the Trevi fountain where we were still waiting to get into the bar.  So we ditched, took our Trevi pic, and went home.  

Figure10.11- Dayumn.

On our second day, we saw the Vatican, the Parthanon, and some temples.


The line for the Vatican was super long.  Not surprising.  Here's some insight: lines bring out the absolute worst in people.  They have no respect for the social norms of waiting your turn!  So rude.  Same goes for when you're not supposed to take pictures or speak in holy places.  Arrogance.  

Figure 10.12 - The green arrow is where the line rapped around.  The red is where people were cutting.  Scum.

We'd been noticing a certain theme of pictures being taken in holy places.  The subject, normally a done up girl, looks up in reverence at the sacred thing, and her friend takes one thousand pictures from different angles of them.  It's so....poetic.  It's really art.  We felt left out, so we did one too.  

Figure 10.13- Look at that respect.  That poise.  That perfectly placed religious thing.

Last, we saw the Sistine Chapel.  The Sistine Chapel is at the end of a super long museum in which there are no shortcuts.  Art is cool, but we were tired.  We did manage to stumble upon a Map Room, and since Alice loves maps so much...

Figure 10.14 - WE LOVE MAPS. 

As eluded to earlier, you can't take pictures inside the chapel.  AND WE LISTEN TO AND RESPECT RULES BECAUSE WE AREN'T THE WORST.


That was Rome.


Trip Revelations:
1.  Greece is in turmoil. Sadly, our trip was cut short due to the fact that Athens is literally on fire and I only have a temporary passport.  This post is comin at you live from California.
2.  Rome is filled with hilariously odd couples.  See four examples below.

Figure 10.15- This one isn't that odd, but I wasn't even trying to get their picture.  They were just perfectly posed while  I was photogging the steps.

Figure 10.16 - We call them PDA couple.  This was the most G-Rated it got.  GROSS GET A ROOM.

Figure 10.17 - We are willing to bet these two met at an Anime convention.

Figure 10.18 - No words on this one.

3.  The more southern you are, the more blisteringly hot it is.  All the sweating.
4.  Wifi and air conditioning have been upgraded from luxury to necessity. AKA we are spoiled.
5.  Everyone loves to ask me if I'm Mexican or Spanish.  Trip total: seven. SURPRISE!! Neither.


The trip is over, but stay tuned for our journey home fun times.  There will be a celebrity appearance.

Monty Python And The Quest For The Jersey Shore

AKA Florence.  Like Monty, we got arrested before our mission was complete.




... kidding.  




We wanted to take a day trip for one of our days in Rome since we had an extra day on our Eurail passes. We looked at the time table, and when we saw Florence, Alice's eyes literally lit up.

Alice: Do you know what is happening in Florence?
Me: No.  Italian things, I presume.
Alice:  They are filming the Jersey Shore.
Me: Sweet.
Alice:  ..................
Alice: WE HAVE TO GO FIND THEM.

And so, we went to Florence.  We looked up where the cast was working this summer, which happened to be a pizza place.  We got there and for the life of us could not find it.  We walked around for about two hours, finally had to go into an internet cafe to find more directions.   

After that epic journey, we arrived.

Figure 9.1 - Wow, so glamorous. 

Guess who wasn't working that day?  YOU GUESSED IT!!!

Figure 9.2 - Medium fail face.

We ate there anyway, and over the course of our meal saw some pals who were clearly doing the same thing we were.

Figure 9.3 - We could be wrong.  High heels, tight shirts, and short skirts ARE normal afternoon attire.

After lunch we did some more respectable things, like look at architecture and what not.  We did a...mediocre job.  

And that was Florence.  Stay tuned for some Roman adventures.

"I hope the people we're strapped to tomorrow are fun."

...context is a great thing.


Day one of Interlaken was covered in the last post.  Aka best day number 2.


The next day, we decided we want to go on a hike.  We took a train to Lauterbrunnenandasdai'e and took a cable car up to the top of a mountain.  We walked along for a few hours, and got to the next cable car stop.  Apparently, if you buy a round trip ticket, you can only use the car you came up in.  GAWDAHMAHT.  We didn't want to spend another 20, so we said frack it, let's walk.


Mistake.


We essentially scaled down a mountain.  We calculated the meters we decended: 900.  ABSURD.  We were attacked and swarmed by flies, and Alice slipped/fell twice.  Eurgh.  But we did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Our last day in Interlaken was dubbed "scary day."  We started off by going paragliding.

Figure 8.1 - Pre-flight.  Zero hour, 9am.  

We were actually flying! Look at this super grainy, blurry photo of a photo!!

Figure 8.2 - Not photoshopped, promise.

That night was the beach party.  We attended, were getting super bored and were about to leave when we ran into ANDREW JONES.  What?!?!?  It was actually the craziest thing that's ever happened.  He just stumbled into the bar with a bag of bread, nutella, and cheese.  Classic.  We didn't take a photo, but here's one we "found" on the internet.

Figure 8.3:  Lol

Crazy.  That pretty much sums up our Swiss adventures.  Balmer's hostel: you ROCK.

Trip Revelations:
1.  Flies.  Are.  Everywhere.  We hate flies.
2. Alice finds great shoes.

Figure 8.4: Love the face.

3. Outfits don't just happen in Madrid.

Figure 8.5: Identity protected.

4. Explanations sometimes don't...explain.  The picture below happened, and all we were told was "You know William Tell?  With the apple and the arrow?  They're reinacting it."

Figure 8.6:  Yeah sure, makes sense.  Also, look at the determination in that guy's face.

5. Fahrt.  Hilarious word everywhere in Switzerland.  

Figure 8.7:  Ein fahrt?  Who fahrted??

Figure 8.8:  It was him.

The best day, followed by the worst day, followed by the best day

So on average, three normal days.  GOOOOOOOD.


We left France on a wine/volleyball/new friendship high.  We were also insanely excited to go to Switzerland.  And then everything was the worst for 13 hours.


Our ticket masta for the train booked half of our train tickets (it takes 3 to get to Swissland from Fwance) for two days before we were going to travel.  Obvi, the train we were supposed to take was completely booked.  Instead, we had to take five trains and two busses with a two hour lay over in Geneva.  Travelling that was supposed to take 6 hours took 13.  GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.


In reality, that's not so bad.  But then, as we were trying to communicate in German or French (I still have no idea) with people to figure out where our next train was, some awesome human zipped open my backpack and stole my wallet.  Passport, both my cards, and some serious cash included.  As my mom is probably yelling at the screen while she reads this, I should have split up the important stuff.  But in my frazzled state, I just wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything on one of the modes of transportation we were taking.


We arrived in Interlaken, and made it in time before the reception closed at Balmers.  Hilariously, they lost our reservation.  We finally got a room, but not before word spread that the girl in the technicolor hoodie lost her passport.  People for some reason find the need to tell you who you are too.  Yes, I know I lost my passport.  STEP TO ME OR STEP AWAY.


Such is life.


We woke up the next day with intense determination to fix everything.  So we DID.


First step: fix room.  They upgraded us to essentially a hotel room for free.  Damn.

Figure 7.1 - Look at those floors.  So shiny. 

Second step: replace passport.

Figure 7.2 - Like a boss.

Next: find great wizard.

Figure 7.3 - Only 70km to the left.  Why did Voldy have so much trouble???

Then: find awesome book.

Figure 7.4 - Cheers, Andrew and Sliv.

Last: go for run.

Figure 7.5 - This is the view?  4 real??? I want to live to there.

Boom.  Look out for full length Switzerland post soon.  Spoiler alert: we did some flyings.